Forgive and Let Go

Forgive and Let Go

Thought Adjuster

Is The Teacher

Message received by Anyas

Posted on January 20, 2025

 

Oregon, USA, June 25, 2022

Thought Adjuster: “Forgiveness is a multi-layered process set into motion by the honest desire to forgive. The challenge many encounter in that endeavor is that they tackle it from their intellect rather than their heart. Merely saying “I forgive you” does not make it so. You will soon notice that there are still pockets of resentment and feelings of hurt that keep bubbling up. How, then, do you go about releasing them once and for all?

The best approach to this soul-liberating process is to reflect upon Jesus’ life that abounded in forgiveness exemplifications. He was greatly misunderstood, emotionally and physically abused, and subjected to character defamation. In comparison, your self-righteous assertions of victimization often amount to self-pity.

Jesus never felt sorry for himself. He dealt with the earthly life blows by adopting an elevated perspective, ever more concerned about his heavenly Father’s feelings than his own. To him, the injured party was the Father he had come to represent. By not taking offenses personally, Jesus did not brood over them or schemed revenge. He distanced himself from the Old Testament retaliatory an-eye-for-an-eye response and, by turning the other cheek, he stunned his tormentors and the bystanders.

Forgiveness is indeed an act of liberation — of the self and those who dug their claws deep into you. It is also a process of emotional relaxation — only possible when the mind and its memories disengage from the inner conflict to allow the heart to do its job as the forgiver. Forgiveness allows for peace to settle in. Wasn’t your Master Jesus coined as the Prince of Peace? How else could he have forgiven if he had operated from a place of inner turmoil?

The dove of peace holding an olive branch needs to be released from your heart. Yours is to open the door of its cage whose bars are made of resentment and grudges. Once you set it free to soar, it will become your peace ambassador. Do not rescind its emancipation, as by doing so, you nullify your selfless act of forgiveness. Let it go so that it can drop its olive branch in the lap of those you want to absolve of any debt toward you.

It is the only way for peace to be restored in your world — inner and outer. Jesus makes himself available to assist you in that process that he mastered to perfection so that he could become ‘the way’ — the way back to the Father as heaven is a grudge-free zone.”

 

© The 11:11 Progress Group.
No matter what the question is, the answer is always Love.

www.innersherpa.org 

 

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When Your Mind Can’t Let Go

When Your Mind Can’t Let Go

By Leo Babauta | Source

Posted on January 18, 2025

Sometimes your mind can get fixated on something, and it just won’t let go. For some people, this happens a lot — sometimes more than they realize.

How can you tell if your mind won’t let go of something? Some signs:

• You won’t let go of an argument
• You’re known for always wanting to be right
• You replay conversations in your mind, arguing internally
• You stew over an offense for a long time
• You hold grudges
• You get frustrated a lot because things aren’t the way you like them
• People get tired of you complaining or being frustrated by the same things over and over
• You regret things strongly, and wish you could go back and redo key moments of your life
• You can’t forgive yourself for things you’ve done

A mind that fixates is a human thing, but if you’re unable to let go, your mind becomes more and more rigid.

And this can affect your relationships, your ability to focus on the present moment, and your happiness.

I’m not saying that this tendency to fixate the mind is a bad thing. There’s a strength to it, a protectiveness, a fire. But what if you want to have a more fluid mind, and let go? Maybe for a bit of peace of mind?

Let’s look at how to let go.

Why the Mind Fixates

Let’s start with why the mind fixates on something in the first place. Let’s assume it’s not because the mind hates your happiness, or is dumb.

The mind desires things the way it wants things to be — and that desire is completely natural. We want things the way we like them. The fixation comes when we get strongly attached to things being the way we want them to be.

Why would we become strongly attached? Because of fear — we’re afraid that if things aren’t the way we want them to be, then we won’t be OK.

For example:

• If I’m wrong about an argument, then my fear might be that people will think I’m dumb
• If I don’t defend myself against someone else’s criticism, then my fear might be that I’m not a good person (or won’t be seen as a good person)
• If I don’t hold on to a grudge or resentment, then my fear might be that people will just walk all over me and disrespect me
• If I am frustrated about things not being the way I want them, then my fear might be that if thing aren’t that way, I won’t have control over a scary situation

Do any of these sound familiar? Your mind’s fear might be in one of those. Or maybe there’s another fear — but it’s likely to be a fear that you won’t be OK for some reason.

How to Let Go

Knowing why our minds fixate — because of fear — might help us to understand how we can start to let go.

We have to first simply acknowledge the fear. We’re afraid we won’t be OK. That’s an understandable fear to have! It’s totally OK to have that fear, and to have a mind that’s fixated because of it.

Next, we might ask, “What does my fear need, in order to feel that I’ll be OK?” The first reaction might be: “I need things to be the way I want them to be!” Which is, of course, the belief underlying the mind’s tendency to attachment.

But what if you didn’t need things to be that way, in order to be OK? What if you could trust that you’ll be OK no matter how things turn out? See if you can imagine yourself being OK, even if you’re not right about things, even if someone thinks bad things about you, even if you do something embarrassing, even if things aren’t just the way you want them to be?

If you can believe in that … then what would your fear need to feel that you’ll be OK? For me, I simply need a deeper breath, a little presence, and a little love.

Then I don’t need for things to be any way.

How to Practice Letting Go

Let’s take all of that and put it into practice:

1. Notice when your mind is fixated. This will usually be accompanied by frustration, or an inability to let go of an argument or offense. And tightness in your body and mind. If all you do is notice this, you’ll be making huge progress.
2. Pause and acknowledge the fear. Breathe for a moment. Notice that your fear that you won’t be OK is causing you to be attached and tight. Notice that it’s frustrating you. Now simply acknowledge the fear, breathe, give it some presence and love.
3. Remind yourself that you’ll be OK no matter what. Start to develop a deep trust in your OK-ness, by reminding yourself that being right, or being offended, or having things your way … aren’t required for you to be OK. You can be OK no matter how things turn out. Trust in that.
4. Now let go. Breathe, and acknowledge that you could be wrong. Acknowledge that the other person might have had good intentions. Acknowledge that you don’t need things to be your way. Forgive the other person, or yourself. Feel how loving and open this is.

I don’t expect each of these steps to be easy. That’s OK, we don’t have to be attached to doing it right! Just practice. See what happens, with a mind that’s curious.

And then see what might happen if you let your mind release, and be fluid. See what kind of openness might come.

with love,

Leo Babauta

Zen Habits

https://zenhabits.net/